Thursday, September 19, 2013


How does time keep speeding up as we age? Hard to believe the year is almost over....
Lately I have been thinking back to the days of my children's births, the day Matthew asked me to marry him and the day I found out I was finally going to have our first child that was prayed for deeply. This are the happiest days in my life!
They make me cry, I want that youth back, especially now.

Then I look at my oldest and the man he is turning into and I am so proud of him. My second born is blossoming into a young man. I watch them as they do their school or as they are working around here and think of how blessed I am.........The Lord blessed me with four amazing children that are my pride and joy.

Monday, September 16, 2013

1 down 11 to go

I had my first chemo infusion one week today. It was an all day event; felt fine came home cooked dinner then went to bed as normal. Tuesday a different story, no one could have gotten me awake. I slept the whole entire day, only remember very small pieces of the day. I know I cooked dinner but don't recall what... Wednesday I wanted to sleep also, but it was the day to go back have the pump removed. Well as the day went on my balance went bye bye. Ended up at the dr until 6 pm on IV fluid from walking into a door and my blood pressure being low. Of course, I slept the whole entire time as my friend sat there watching. Thursday, did get up but it was rough, Friday felt more like myself. Today though was the best! I was me....getting work done not tired and was eating. I am having a side effect in my mouth (jaw) where it feels swollen and sore to open. It sounds like I am mumble when talking hurts to open my mouth to bite. So the dr called in a special mouth rinse and said Advil. The Advil is helping!!!!
My appetite was very low, Thursday I did get sick. Was so tired and needed to cook dinner that I didn't talk my nausea meds. Friday I made sure I did and when I began to feel bad I laid down for a little bit. 
I know the chemo is building up each time...but I really hope it stays this easy. 
I pray and pray that this chemo will put an end to anymore cancer in my body. Tonight as the family ate country fried steaks, mashed potatoes & gravy. I ate carrots, cranraisins, yogurt & water. I did eat a potato roll. I am working on eating plant based foods. I did have tater tots at lunch with dried mango and plums. Actually with my snacking today I probably made up for the days I didn't eat. Bummer since the one positive in having chemo is to lose all this extra weight. The goal to lose is at least another 30 lbs. I am down 20 lbs from when I started this road exactly a year ago. 

Thank you for all the prayers

Monday, September 2, 2013


Today is September 1, hard to believe this is my birthday month 45 yrs old. Not how I planned 45. 
   Port has healed nicely can barely even see that I have one. Just under the skin if the incision wasn't there you wouldn't see it.
     One week from today, I all of sudden feel a need to organize the house and get it all clean and ready. 
      My husband finally made time for us and finally opened up to me.....I am so relieved and feel his is his love that shut him down when I needed it most...but all is good. He is worried about what is about to happen just as much as I am. He said the road will be rough but we will make it....but that if at anytime the chemo gets to much open my mouth and say stop. 
  He knows that I knew after my colon resection I needed chemo and the dr said no need. Now look were I am, he knows for my sanity I have tongi this road . I don't have faith in the natural stuff, I was already eating healthy and working on weight lose. 
    I am glad and blessed I have a husband that cares enough to look out for me.
    We are both concerned with after effects of chemo and how this will never ever go away, this is apart of the rest of our life.