I can be so immature

This week has been hard with my husband. He shut down on me, the thoughts for both us this week was "what if". Neither of us want to think about nor deal with it. I can't go there.....it depresses me and I get upset with my husband. He shuts down...we are not even close to this so we need to stay away from it. The next 6 month is going to be hard enough with out including the what if.....

    My oncologist is very positive....he helps me feel like I am winning and he tells me I don't have a choice but to win. 

 Anyway so this week hubby wasn't talking at all and all I did was cry the whole week. (Which doesn't help him want to talk) I said mean things to get him to react which he never did....

    A friend began messaging me. God gave her the words I needed to hear to regain understanding for my husband....I immediately apologized to him. I have reality back but i didn't say i wasn't still being childish....during this lack of reality episode I de friended hubby on FB...and removed him as showing married. Yes I am being very childish...Now......I am waiting to see how long it takes for him to realize....because he hasn't noticed and because he doesn't have himself acknowledge as married. So yes I am still acting like a baby.......I want the entire world to know he is taken and to back away. Going through what we are I am even more protective that this family is mine!

We don't need anyone trying to be a shoulder for him....we are each others....some of you may think I am being ridiculous but I have seen it happen. I choke normally if you want him have him...but the truth is he is my world.....it completely revolves around him and our children.