The answer is....

The biopsy came early.... I am blessed to have a friend that will drop everything and come running. She then stay by my side all day and evening.

The thought of cancer is still not really there. I have moments like this morning riding my bike I was crying.

I can only go forward and know God is with me. I believe finding out was in his timing. I believe it began with the kidney stone....that was his way of getting me to see I needed to get a check up.

I don't feel I am in denial.....I just don't want it to controlling my emotions. My four children are afraid enough....I have talked to them about God's care. And that it has been caught early. That I may not even need chemo. Explained I do need more of their help. To do things to help me without being told, aka picking up around home, dishes; rooms, laundry and care if their animals. Dr. Keeps saying no stress, she even put me on a couple meds to help with the menopause stress and the stress as we wait all the answers. Has been a great change I feel the anxiety lifted.

So I have a ct scan in couple days to see how advanced or if it spread still waiting for the appt. with the surgent

All I ask is if you can keep me in prayer. Must of all my children and husband.

Prayer...

I need some strength........the waiting game is so hard. Doctors scare you then make you wait for test results. Oct. 5th seems like eternity right now.

Trying to remember my strength is in Him our heavenly Father....

Today...

Was my 44th birthday. Besides the presents were just the best....Yankee candle yum, bath rugs, Vera Bradley bag....scarf plus few other things. It turned out to be a relaxing day. My friend came over and we spent a couple hours just talking.
Then tonight all 4 of my kids played with their orchestra group at a colleges 50 yr time capsule ceremony.

When we arrived home, I enjoyed watching the boys playing around in the new jeep project with daddy. They were four wheeling all over the yard.

And then just before bed they all including daddy played happy birthday.
Really was the best year..

Mind is heavy

So many thinks are on my mind that it is keeping me from getting things done around here. I have several things to do, that need to be completed. I having a hard time concentrating on them with these others things laying so heavy. It is the heavy thoughts that bring to Jesus feet, he is the only one that can change them.

It is through these times that I realize I have been walking around as if I was in charge in place of our Heavenly Father.