4th down...

Having a harder time with this chemo, I was already very tired. Slept through Monday infusion and then slept through Wednesday when they put me on 2 hr fluids. The fluids is suppose to help me with my balance and blood pressure. This week my balance is still off my vision is off, I am not as tired but still am tired by 2 pm I am ready for a nap. I don't like this weak feeling that is overcoming me. The dr told me with how tired I was last week it was not from the blood levels that I need to rest more. I am trying to get the rest but I have 4 children and a husband that needs to see me uo and moving to know I am ok. Little comments that I hear let's me know my 3rd child is very scared. So I am doing all the reassurance I can for them all. 

Still not myself

I woke this morning being more of myself but as the day went on I felt bad. Tonight I cooked my favorite tacos and enchilada, but couldn't eat. I just soaked in the jacuzzi tub took some phengren  drank some ensure. Laid down...still not feeling good. All week I have been dealing with nose bleeds multiple times a day. This is on top of other side effects of the chemo. 

I hope tomorrow is better, Monday is coming fast and I am not ready for chemo again. 

3rd treatment

I had my 3rd treatment last Monday, having a harder time getting back to myself this time. The right side of my mouth and throat is sore. I can tell I am coming out of it, I was able to drink my coconut milk this morning. 

Went over to Amercican cancer society yesterday got a wig and some hats. My husband wants me to find some scarves to wear. Guess he isn't to crazy about my bald head, lol. Don't blame him I am not liking it either. I just don't like wearing the wigs all day at home. But the one I got yesterday is easier to wear all day. It is out of my face and short. As the cooler weather sets in they will be easier to wear. 

Last night I was sick not sure why, hit me out of the cold blue. I am finding that with chemo some the effects come a week after the chemo. Trying not to over do....but also not lay around to much trying find a balance.

New day...

Sport my wig for the first time. This was a huge step and very emotional. I had my hair still but it was so thin I was almost bald. Couldn't touch it, just lost more. So last night I took the plunge and baby girl and Nathan shaved me bald. They took an hour they wanted it perfect. 

   I am happy Nathan came in as Marissa was shaving, he verbalizes himself different. He wanted and needed to be apart of it. He needed to feel needed.....beyond the normal chores around the house. 

    I haven't been comfortable with walking around bald yet only my two have seen it. My husband and the other two haven't. I broke down crying when I went to walk out in the other room where they were. So I covered it up with a scarf. Then this morning a hat. When I switch to the wig I made sure hubby wasn't looking. 

  Just time to get use to it..... I know my husband loves me... Even if I don't have hair. 

Not changing

I have decided not to changing my blog until I complete chemo. The flowers from spring symbolize rebirth, promises, God made everything.

I believe God is in control of my health am of my life. But more my family!! I see changes occurring. Some I have prayed for.........not how I would have planned to answer those prayers but I am not. HIM! 

I am surrounding myself with bible verses in the truck in the tub in the kitchen in the bedroom. Anywhere so I am reminded of HIS promises.

Outdoor adventure

After the 2nd infusion

Well I was told I wouldn't be losing my hair. Guess that half true I haven't lost all of it. 😜 

This week has been rough had lots of fatigue. I ran earns Monday, Tuesday I was down I couldn't do anything even switching laundry from washer to dryer to all I had. Wednesday I felt better so my mother in law and I took the kids for an outdoor adventure. Today I was better had more energy. So hopefully tomorrow will be even better. 

 The Metropolitan Area Youth Orchestra is preparing for their first season concert. I have been able to keep up some but I am resting up and preparing for Sunday. I am also going to take a lower key at concert. I am happy to be there and be involved!!!!! It will be a very nice blessing going into Monday for my 3rd infusion.

Will post pictures of our outdoor adventure in another post.