Then why do I want to cry?
I should be happy, but I don't feel out of the woods yet.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Monday, April 6, 2015
Continued story...
Was on my 43rd birthday. As I was waking, the dr. is called in. They made sure I was not alone. During the endoscope she found a cancerous tumor. It looked like a polyp and she cut into it, right away she stopped and sent it off to lab. With in days it was confirmed, but she didn't wait she already had the references going for surgery.
CT scans were done, and I was in surgery with in a couple weeks. The surgeon cut me from belly button to pelvic bone, 6" of my colon was removed. I was blessed it all went beautiful he was able to resect no temp bag was needed. The recovery after coming home was hard, turned out I had Cdiff and UtI. I knew something wasn't right but couldn't figure it out...just knew I was afraid very afraid. These emotions of lost, loneliness and fear were not founded so why was I having them? Barely made it through Sunday, my friend came over prayed with me, and I kept claiming the blood of Jesus. The tears wouldn't stop. Monday morning I knew I needed help, called dr was sent to ER. Needed a ct scan to confirm surgery was having no complications. Thankfully no everything looked beautiful, just infections that needed to be treated.
At follow up dr tells me I am T1 which is basically so early cancer that I don't need radiation or chemo. I need to be seen in a year for my follow up endoscope.
At 9 months I went in for my one year. Now meantime, we have finally lost our home. We are in middle of packing and moving into a new place that requires a lot of work.
Dr. Calls to confirm I am coming in for my endoscope. My colon cancer marker is up to 128. Normal is 2.5.
I email a friend that is a colon surgeon, he calls me and ask several questions, the answers to them all are no. He says not good enough, don't leave my phone. Within 30 minutes I am scheduled to see an oncologist the next day!
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Life full of hills and valleys
If I didn't live the path for the last few years, I wouldn't beleive the story myself.
When the recession began a few years ago, my family was one on that long hard road. Battling daily to hold onto our home, vehicles and even everyday living. Most of all our faith and love for each other. My husband was always so resourceful, he managed to always come up with money to keep power on for us. The trucks went but he found ways that we always had something. For awhile we were down to one car. Gods beauty and friends with very kind hearts fixed that.
The house was the hardest, 5 years of battling with the company before we threw in the towel. Finally realizing the company had no intention as the news said to work with the people. (This blog began in that home and on the beautiful land).
In the meantime, all this, stress my health was being effected. Was sick to my stomach a lot had to begin watching everything I ate. I had all the symptoms of an ulcer. I began having a lot of bleeding kept telling myself hemorrhoids. It was at 3:00am on July 5th, 2012. I was awakened with pain worse then child birth. I had a very inflamed, infected kidney due to a kidney stone. After being hospitalized for 3 days and it blasted out, I went and returned to life.
My girlfriend asked me what my excuse would be now to not see a dr over my bleeding. My cost share was meant now. I knew she was right and I knew I needed too. You know there is a difference between you knowing you have cancer and the Dr. telling you. The reality I were about to meet.
To be continued...
When the recession began a few years ago, my family was one on that long hard road. Battling daily to hold onto our home, vehicles and even everyday living. Most of all our faith and love for each other. My husband was always so resourceful, he managed to always come up with money to keep power on for us. The trucks went but he found ways that we always had something. For awhile we were down to one car. Gods beauty and friends with very kind hearts fixed that.
The house was the hardest, 5 years of battling with the company before we threw in the towel. Finally realizing the company had no intention as the news said to work with the people. (This blog began in that home and on the beautiful land).
In the meantime, all this, stress my health was being effected. Was sick to my stomach a lot had to begin watching everything I ate. I had all the symptoms of an ulcer. I began having a lot of bleeding kept telling myself hemorrhoids. It was at 3:00am on July 5th, 2012. I was awakened with pain worse then child birth. I had a very inflamed, infected kidney due to a kidney stone. After being hospitalized for 3 days and it blasted out, I went and returned to life.
My girlfriend asked me what my excuse would be now to not see a dr over my bleeding. My cost share was meant now. I knew she was right and I knew I needed too. You know there is a difference between you knowing you have cancer and the Dr. telling you. The reality I were about to meet.
To be continued...
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Been awhile...
Sorry I have been missing, I think often how I need to write again.
Between being on chemo a 2nd time and keeping up with the family business, not much time is left to write. Jonathan's schedule is keeping me busy between keeping the home, and then homeschooling.
Being told I am Stage 4 cancer has changed a lot of my out look, family is #1.
What brought me here tonight is working to make a dream come true for one of my children.
I just started a fund raiser for my son Jonathan to attend a special Orchestra camp in Boone, NC.
Jonathan has such talent with his cello. We are so very excited and proud of Jonathan, he auditioned for the All State Orchestra and MADE IT!!!!
There are only 15 seats we were told don't be disappointed if he doesn't make it, especially being his first time auditioning. Jonathan made it out of 3,000 students. So in January he will be performing in Tampa at the FMEA.
To grow his talent we have been invited to apply to the http://cannon.appstate.edu/application-forms
the camp has already accepted Jonathan, now it is time to find how to get there.
Please help fund this chance for Jonathan to grow his cello talent. He dreams of becoming a pro..
">Jonathan Summer Camp Fund
Between being on chemo a 2nd time and keeping up with the family business, not much time is left to write. Jonathan's schedule is keeping me busy between keeping the home, and then homeschooling.
Being told I am Stage 4 cancer has changed a lot of my out look, family is #1.
What brought me here tonight is working to make a dream come true for one of my children.
I just started a fund raiser for my son Jonathan to attend a special Orchestra camp in Boone, NC.
Jonathan has such talent with his cello. We are so very excited and proud of Jonathan, he auditioned for the All State Orchestra and MADE IT!!!!
There are only 15 seats we were told don't be disappointed if he doesn't make it, especially being his first time auditioning. Jonathan made it out of 3,000 students. So in January he will be performing in Tampa at the FMEA.
To grow his talent we have been invited to apply to the http://cannon.appstate.edu/application-forms
the camp has already accepted Jonathan, now it is time to find how to get there.
Please help fund this chance for Jonathan to grow his cello talent. He dreams of becoming a pro..
">Jonathan Summer Camp Fund
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Trying.......
I am trying to get back into keeping my blog up to date. Last couple of years life has taken a turn and everytime we seem to be getting back on track. Our train is derailed once again.....
One day I will spend time telling you my cancer story... meantime I want to build other moms that think they cant keep homeschooling through trials.
Family pushed me to put my children in school, there was no way they could learn while I fought cancer. I stood my ground, I was not throwing my children into public school. They knew home this was their routine. If they were in school I wont go pull them out. Our family was already thrown a wrench, why would I turn the rest of their security away from them.
I did change some of our books to more self driven. If you can ever get a boy to want to pick up a book on their own and do their work, lol.
Our deal was I will not worry about certain subjects, if they did two things on their own. First was Math and the other was reading comp. My one son used Teaching Textbook and they other two used developmental Math. Then all 3 were to read their SRA each day and answer the comp questions. History was taught many days with documentaries on the history channel, science is everywhere.
Living daily life taught them more then any book can, may children took turns at the hospital mostly my daughter. She has learned so much about nursing and caring for her mom. They have been to ct scan, dr appts and labs. When they went to work with their dad, they learned customer service, drywall, tiling, demo, stud wall building, and even concert.
Beyond this things they learned meal planning, budget making, laundry, cleaning and time management.
As we cross this next bridge, I have decided they can read to me. So we will be doing Anne of Green Gables book study. All three will still have SRA, all will be using teaching texbooks, Winning with Writing which I have called in Aunt and Mimi to help they both are better writing then I am. Winning with writing is also student directed but again if it is going to be done neatly and correctly then adult involvement is needed. There are many ways to incorporate school into daily living. I didn't realize how much they were learning until we were sitting and watching Jeapordy...... They blew me away what they have picked up.........
Relax.....and when days are good spend time loving your children not fighting over things.....
My daughter said I changed, I spend time playing and talking and listening. Not just yelling bout getting things done. Pray with them, walk, talk and laugh....Make memories that mean something to everyone.....
One day I will spend time telling you my cancer story... meantime I want to build other moms that think they cant keep homeschooling through trials.
Family pushed me to put my children in school, there was no way they could learn while I fought cancer. I stood my ground, I was not throwing my children into public school. They knew home this was their routine. If they were in school I wont go pull them out. Our family was already thrown a wrench, why would I turn the rest of their security away from them.
I did change some of our books to more self driven. If you can ever get a boy to want to pick up a book on their own and do their work, lol.
Our deal was I will not worry about certain subjects, if they did two things on their own. First was Math and the other was reading comp. My one son used Teaching Textbook and they other two used developmental Math. Then all 3 were to read their SRA each day and answer the comp questions. History was taught many days with documentaries on the history channel, science is everywhere.
Living daily life taught them more then any book can, may children took turns at the hospital mostly my daughter. She has learned so much about nursing and caring for her mom. They have been to ct scan, dr appts and labs. When they went to work with their dad, they learned customer service, drywall, tiling, demo, stud wall building, and even concert.
Beyond this things they learned meal planning, budget making, laundry, cleaning and time management.
As we cross this next bridge, I have decided they can read to me. So we will be doing Anne of Green Gables book study. All three will still have SRA, all will be using teaching texbooks, Winning with Writing which I have called in Aunt and Mimi to help they both are better writing then I am. Winning with writing is also student directed but again if it is going to be done neatly and correctly then adult involvement is needed. There are many ways to incorporate school into daily living. I didn't realize how much they were learning until we were sitting and watching Jeapordy...... They blew me away what they have picked up.........
Relax.....and when days are good spend time loving your children not fighting over things.....
My daughter said I changed, I spend time playing and talking and listening. Not just yelling bout getting things done. Pray with them, walk, talk and laugh....Make memories that mean something to everyone.....
Monday, June 2, 2014
New start
We are finally settling into a home. Hard to beleive everything that has happened in a year. My husband and I feel it is in Gods plan. This house answers many needs our family has and it has many blessings. I also have the blessing of working outside the home few hours a week, but not a lot. Just enough to have sanity. Also keeps me moving which I need to help my body regain strength.
Warms my heart to see my family happy again. Several people have comment in the change in my husband, he is smiling.
I said I beleive this year felt good that it was going to be a blessed. As the year had progressed, I kept saying it. I know some thought I was nuts as they watched our lives unravel. Here comes the blessings, that I knew we were going to see this year.
I praise our God for his protection, guidance, and most of all leading us.
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