Miserable

Last Monday I had a meltdown, Pain, fatigue, itching, burning. I did get treatment that day which was my 14th. I have 6 different lotions, silverdene, hydrocortisone, lidocaine all that I apply during the day. 

Underarm is healing and doing good, chest still has tiny blisters, and itching. The area under the breast is the spot giving me trouble. Have raw skin that wants to weep, itch, burn. 

I have called both oncologist and said I don’t want anymore. Of course they are giving the statistics and want me to finish up at least the boosts. 

The boost aren’t suppose to be covering the large area more direct. If this was my first cancer then I would but it is my second. The first was very aggressive and I am watched so closely. Due to that watching could be why I have secondary. No one knows… 

My ribs are even complaining..

Radiation has begun

Today was the first day of radiation. They had to tattoo me again. Draw on me several lines since I am allergic to all adhesive tapes. One problem is the drawings have worn off already. Hope enough is there by morning for them to follow and redraw. 

What ever dignity you have is completely lost when you have cancer. I will save you details for now.

My daughter went with me today and tomorrow even though it is her birthday. My baby girl turns 19. Feels good saying that. See I was told I wouldn’t see her be 15. She is 19 and so brave, strong, independent and successful young lady. 

The worse thing is my arms during the radiation session. They are complaining being above my head. I could barley bring them down today they hurt so much. Fingers were ice. They said tomorrow would be shorter so we will see. 

Good night everyone 

Thank you for all your prayers 

Happy Valentines

I had a great Valentine’s Day. My son gave me flowers. Then my daughter came by with a mini rose and the sweetest card. Had a quiet day, worked on my taxes little bit then laid down watched a little tv. 

Last week was the pre radiation mapping. Now wait for them to call for the radiation to begin in 7-10 days. 

 Meantime, working on everyone’s taxes. Two down and two more to go. Mine is the most detailed so saved for last. 

Going to Boca Saturday for my sons last Graduate school audition. Has 4 done already heard back from 2 as accepted. 

I feel free again. My sons truck broke down been driving him back and forth to school and all the auditions. Thankful his wife left her job so I am not running back and forth there also. Yesterday it was finally repaired but then this morning something else went. Thankfully his dad had some time to figure it out and fix it. His wife and I took it to him so that I didn’t have to run out tonight in the cold to get him. 

When I blogged long ago there was a once a week grateful post. I am thinking of starting that again. Not sure the original blog is still doing it. I found it gave me peace and helped me to look at the beauty around me in a more positive view. So much around us to be thankful for and we need to be reminded to slow down and look, smell, and feel. Sit quiet in the Lord.

Good night I am going to relax and enjoy this valentines with my family. 

Tallahassee

          Today we drive 4 hours to Tallahassee for my sons first of many graduate school auditions. Came up the day before since he had a lesson with the professor. Helps also since we are reporting at 8 am for registration and warming up. He will be having auditions every single Saturday through March. So stressful for all of us especially him. 

       My daughter in law and I checked out a couple Walmart’s for The Pioneer Woman items. She did find me a printed duster on sale. Not anything new or different from the local store. Tried to see about fabric being discounted like another lady posted, but not here in Florida. This town or should I say city is busy and full. Even had two chic fil a across from each other on the same road. The amount of liquor stores and smoke shops is ridiculous. To many for a college area. 

   I have radiation appt for consult to learn what I will be doing. I am almost healed from surgery. Still have lots of swelling but half of the swelling is down. I have ice in my bra 24/7, taking ibuprofen and acetaminophen ever 4 hours. Really hoping the rest will go down before radiation starts.   

       

       

Surgery

January 6, 2022 was surgery day. The breast cancer turned out to be bigger then they thought but clean margins. I am two weeks out and still having a lot of discomfort and swelling. Living with ice on and taking ibuprofen and acetaminophen every 4 hours. 

Radiation will begin in a couple weeks. 

Meantime, looking to travel some with my son as he auditions for graduate school. The first audition is next Saturday then every Saturday through March. 

 

6 years NED and now breast

   September 24 was my 6 year anniversary of no evidence of my stage 4 colon cancer. Been becoming less anxious feeling as each scan returns. 

   I was over due for my mammogram thanks to covid. As with everything Gods timing is the perfect timing. In December they found breast cancer. January 6th it was removed with two lymph nodes. Waiting now for more pathology reports on the cancer it’s self. In a couple more weeks I will be starting radiation everyday for 4 weeks. 

  It was extremely hard and kicked me into major anxiety having the same exact words being said to me that I heard sept 2012. Matter of fact I am stage 1 T1 the exact same. I had to stop them and say stop saying how lucky. What I know is cancer never does what they think it will. So in 9 months when I am still clean then tell me I am lucky.

The doctor tells me not the same beast this time. Well may not be but it is cancer and science doesn’t fully understand it yet. (Then they wonder why I won’t trust the covid vaccine) tell me to trust science that is so funny after having them tell me no rhyme or reason I became stage 4 and science blah blah. 

   Enough of that because Lord is in charge and he took care of me once again. Cancer was 8mm, clean borders and no lymph nodes involved. 

   Please keep me in your prayers each day for the next couple months. I am very sore today 2 weeks after surgery see dr Friday to make sure all is good. Will update as I take this journey.